THE WORKING CLASS CAN KISS MY ASS, I'VE GOT MY INHERITANCE AT LAST
The words of many a former SWP member
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The Socialist Wankers Party in Leeds has ceased organising events,
all events are now organised by groups set up by other people and taken over by us. This gives us more time to spend our paltry four-figure monthly allowances given to us by our mummies and daddies for 'expenses'.
Most of these groups only exist for a three or four weeks, as a
knee jerk to some current event (i.e. Solidarity Committee to Demand a National Strike Now over a NF sticker seen in Whinmoor), but some of the longer surviving
groups are the Anti-Nazi League and Globalise Resistance. We think of ourselves as grasshoppers (previously
Butterflies) leaping from campaign to campaign.
Our typical
plan is take over a group, then we hive off anyone new to become an
SWP member and then we collapse the group within a few weeks. This has
the added side effect of preventing any way forward for other 'Socialists', with new and exciting "broad fronts" being
set up weekly. This produces a serious case of the boy who cried wolf. For some reason other Marxist groups don't seem to like us too much.
To organise an Event:
- Set up a group, with a title along the
lines of "Campaign against.....", or "No
to....", try to minimise the use of adverbs (real
revolutionaries don't use them).
- Set up an e-mail address such as
NEW_SWP_GROUP_TO_LEGALISE_ABORTION_FOR_BABY_RABBITS@HOTMAIL.COM, it must
be ridiculously long and be with hotmail. This is necessary
as no-one else will get involved if they know the SWP are involved and we can claim the glory for ourselves.
- Organise a demo, usually within 3 days
of the first meeting of the group, as far as possible try
and get it to collide with a similar event, organised by
a non-SWP group
- Hold the first meeting, try to bring
more SWP members than you think there will be other
people. This will ensure an SWP majority (we can't be
undemocratic, anyway if they were left to their own
devices they would come to the SWP conclusion anyway,
this is just faster). Minimise practical discussion, talk
about what is happening and how it's bad, not what to do
about it (after all that's already been arranged)
- At the mass rally or picket, give
everyone an SWP banner, they won't have had time to
make their own, and it wasn't discussed 3 days ago.
- At the end of the rally your success
can be measured by counting paper sales (sometimes in double figures if the weather's good!) and new
phone numbers on the petition.
- Now begin the recruiting.
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